Am I still on anyone google's reader?

I haven't blogged in forever and I would like to get back into it. I miss having that support and encouragement. If you read this please put me on our google reader, and link my blog to yours and what not.

Quick update: I'm now in the middle of my first semester at optometry school in South Florida. I love it and I'm soooo glad I chose this profession....but it's crazy! I'm taking 8 classes and 3 labs and I'm quite sleep-deprived. I've had some struggles and bumps in the road especially after hurricane Gustav which left my family with a very damaged house. I got depressed for a bit and it affected my academic performance. However I've been doing ok since then.

In terms of health and weight loss, well I formed a workout group. Me and 3 other classmates meet with a personal trainer (pictured above) every week for one intense hour of a session. I think this has helped me stabilize my weight in crazy times. We're about to renew our package and we start again next Monday. However I need to get the ball rolling on actually lowing weight again.

Day 7- Last Day of Round 1

2 PM: I'm fasting today for religious purposes; I'll be abstaining from even drinking until sundown (5:10). So no saline wash this morning and I didn't drink the lax. tea last night. When my family breaks their fast with a home-cooked meal I'll be drinking spicy lemonade, but you know what? That's totally fine! I'm much more worried about all of the questions and my parents getting really annoyed. I woke up pretty late and I slept pretty late and so far I'm not at all hungry and there's alot I can do to keep my mind off the no eating/drinking until 5 PM.

I decided to break the MC today. Tomorrow is a religious holiday as I stated already and I found out that tomorrow my dad will not be working and this is the first time in a long time that he won't be working on Eid. I'm excited that the family will all be able to spend time together tomorrow or at least be able to have our Eid Breakfast together. I decided to break it really because it's bothering my parents a lot that I'm doing this and I know me not eating with them tomorrow is going to affect their enjoyment of the holiday, especially my dad whose constantly worried about my health due to a congenital heart condition I have. I don't want him to get upset tomorrow because of my diet.

My decision to break the MC doesn't have to do with willpower, at this point it has gotten to be pretty easy to stay on actually. I drank some juices tonight and will be drinking a bit more before bed. I'm not sure if I'll be starting over again anytime soon because I've done this for 7 whole days and I feel pretty clean; I've been emitting pure liquid of a red-orange color and nothing else today and yesterday. I have learned a lot during my 7 days of discipline and I'm excited to apply those things as a regular part of my lifestyle. I appreciate everyone's support and I hope that this blog has served you in some way. I also do highly recommend this diet but make sure you plan better than I did in terms of timing (don't plan to do this during one of the most important days of the year!).

Day 6

Pic from tonight; I'm the one on the right.

I have decided not to quit! I feel much better this morning and I have already done the saline wash and had 2 bowel movements. Last night I was packing the food my mom made into tupperwares since noone was else was taking the initiative to do it and I had pretty much decided that I'm going to quit and start over on Jan 2nd. Then something else came to my mind, even if I wanted to quit, I will not be able to physically. I just couldn't get myself to put the piece of kafta (middle eastern meat balls) in my mouth. I mean it's been 5 whole days since I have eaten solid food, what will this piece of meat due to my stomach? If I decide to quit I'm going to have to start with the juices and the broths to avoid any dangers to my health and then move on to fruits and veggies, I can't just go to the wedding tonight and eat the steak then cake with coffee; I'll probably just get too sick or feel too down to enjoy the rest of the festivities anyway. Also as I was packing away the food and contemplating taking a few bites I realized that I've now developed a strong control over my desires and I don't want to lose that, it was like I was actually afraid of eating, like I knew it wasn't time yet and I was doing something bad that I will regret and I'm too afraid to get to the point of regretting or feeling down or bad about myself. I don't know if that's how I would have felt if I did quit but I'm too afraid of that possibility. I haven't felt strong and in control in a long time and I don't want anything to jeapordize this moment of power. I don't mean to sound all poetic but that's really how I felt and how I'm feeling now. Wow, I'm like tearing up right now. This is why I decided to go on with the MC!!!

Can you believe that last night I thought that eating is essential to enjoying myself at a major religous holiday and one of my good friend's weddings???? Do the rest of you think like that or is this just my own personal low self-esteem. That's what it is, it's low self-esteem!!! I don't enjoy myself because at 5"1 and a size 12 I just always feel fat and food makes me feel good. So I guess this classifies me as a food addict along with a coffee addict, there's no stigma with admitting the latter but the former is different. There are other things I can do to enjoy myself at my friend's wedding, the holiday, and the other events. Why don't I actually put in some effort into what I'm wearing tonight and get creative with the makeup and put on comfortable shoes and prepare to dance like the other girls? Why don't I make an effort to conversate with people from my past and ask them about how their doing? Why don't I ask them to come visit me out in New Orleans there's so much to see there? Why don't I sit with my mom and sister and enjoy spending time with them and tell my mom 'this is the kind of thing I want at my wedding' or 'this is exactly the kind of thing that I don't want at my wedding' or whatever? Why don't I make an effort to get to know my sister's friends? As for the holiday, there's a reason for it other than to eat so maybe I should read up a little more and why we celebrate Eid Al Adha (the sacrifice) and be thankful for my blessings! Why don't I spend the evening before writing personalized cards to friends and family that live out of state from me? Why don't I also spend the night before secretly decorating the house for my family? FOOD IS NOT ESSENTIAL TO ENJOYING MYSELF there are so many other alternatives that are better for my mental health and well-being anyway.

Graphic Material: At this point my number 2 is just like number 1, the only difference really is the color which is probably due to the cayenne pepper. I don’t know if this means I’m clean or not but the weird thing is I never noticed the so called mucous that others describe.

Around Midnight: Before the wedding today I got my eyebrows done and I put some effort into my outfit and actually did my makeup! I felt pretty so I felt good. I took a couple of pictures before my camera ran out of battery maybe I’ll post a couple up later. I had a good time! I talked to alot of people, did alot of dancing. That's right, I had fun!!! I proved to myself that food is not essential to having fun. Of course, my circumstance of not eating anything at all is a little extreme but in the future I can see myself just eating the soup/salad and taking just a few bites of everything else and having a great time!

I took my lemonade with me in a squirt bottle (about 2 cups worth) and drank it as everyone else was eating. Of course everyone on my table asked why I wasn't eating so I just told them about the master cleanse. I eventually got self-conscious and poured the lemonade into a coffee cup. I let one of my friends sip some and she complained for about 15 minutes after about how hot it was and how it's hurting her throat. My mother kept pressuring me to eat some of the chicken to no avail. I didn't bring enough lemonade with me and I got hungry so I was wishing really bad for some lemonade, I'm actually craving it right now!!!!

For those of you reading who are already on the MC I want you to know that it gets easier!! For those of you reading who are contemplating starting the MC I want you to know that as part of this experience I discovered valuable things about myself the past couple of days as a result of going on the MC, things that made me stronger and will probably result in me living in not only a healthier lifestyle but also more fulfilling and fun! That's one of the unforeseen advantages of the MC.

Day 5

I'm reading the book now and it's stated that dizziness and tiredness does occur as well as vomitting, those are all of my symptoms. The book also states that some people will feel worse than they normally do and that's because of the toxins being stirred up in the bloodstream. I'm definately of that category! "It's truly a wonderful feeling to be free from slavery to these many habit-forming and devitalizing elements of modern living." I hope so!

This morning I had the saline wash and I had my first BM within 10 minutes, and had at total of 3 within the first hour. It wasn't nearly as unpleasnt as it was yesterday and that's probably because I wasn't on an empty stomach yesterday so I couldn't tolerate it as much. I didn't even feel like vomitting!

Well, as I mentioned in a comment reply the henna party (pre-wedding party for bride) that I went to that I was totally worrying about because of the good food the hall serves didn't even have food!!! They just had a whole bunch of desserts which doesn't bother be because I don't have that much of a sweet tooth. I was more worried about the cajun seafood that was MIA tonight! So I didn't feel tempted at all. I feel better today than I did yesterday but I still have rather low energy. I didn't feel like dancing at all and was eventually dragged on the floor by a friend where I stiffly danced for about 20 minutes.

I'm home now at my parents house and I ended up telling my mom and sister about the MC because it just felt impossible to hide it; my sister told my mom that I've been on a hunger strike and threw up all over the place yesterday so I had to tell them what I was doing so they don't think I have an eating disorder. Of course my mom thought it was the stupidest thing in the world and when she realized saying that wasn't going to convince me to stop she decided to take a low blow "This isn't working you look fat, I think it's making you fat you have to stop." Of course that's ridiculous but I did weigh myself and I wasn't impressed by the numbers, I probably lost around 4 lbs and I think all of that that I've been through is worth more than 4lbs. Then again, I'm not doing this to lose weight, right????

Being home is really hard, I immediately noticed the scent of home cooked food. My mom doesn't cook very often but she has definately cooked today! It's now midnight and I'm having all kinds of cravings and my stomach is growing loud although I've had the full 60 oz of lemonade today. Being home has proven to be hard and I've only been home for about 6 hours. Before I started I read in another person's blog that whatever hardship you were going through was always gone by the morning, I hope that's the case.

I must admit that I definately picked a horrible time to start. Today I went to a henna party, tomorrow I'll be going to a wedding, the day after I'll be going to another henna party and this time it's a close friend, the day after that it's a major religious holiday for us Muslims as well as my friend's wedding, and on New Year's eve I'm invited to a New Year's barbecue party which I absolutely have to attend because one of my friends who got married a year ago and moved cross country to New York will be in town for only a few days and she'll be there. Also on Friday (day 7) I need to be fasting from sunset to sundown (5ish) for religious purposes where I'll be abstaining from from even drinking and I don't really want to be breaking my fast with this lemonade. Also my best friends are in town from Philadelphia for a week or so and I told them about my diet and how I can't meet them to eat anywhere. I'm actually seriously contemplating quitting and then starting again after all of the festivities. I'll have enough time to start and finish the 10 days before the semester starts again which isn't until jan. 16th. I know that the hard part is starting and I shouldn't put myself through that again, but I should be able to enjoy my friends wedding and my religous holiday AT LEAST if not the other events! So the million dollar question is being able to eat with everyone else necessary to be able to enjoy myself?? Probably not necessarily for the wedding but for the holiday I think eating is essential to enjoying myself. I think I'll sleep on it and make my final decision tomorrow. What do you guys reading my blog think? Should I quit now and start later or should I just suck it up?

Day 4

Noon: Yesterday shortly after I went to bed I had to get up to go to the bathroom twice, this morning I woke up feeling a little bloated (weird, why would I be bloated??) but I haven't had a BM, nor have done the saline wash or the lax tea, I have some errands to run today so I was too afraid to take anything in the morning but as soon as I get back I'll drink a lax tea. Still no "MUCOUS"!!! It's crazy that I can't wait for something so gross to happen to me but I just want to know that this is working!!!

I don't know if it's a fact that the face tends to retain water just like your stomach would but that would make sense because my face is DEFINATELY THINNER!

I'm not sure if I'm feeling all of the mental benefits that people are reporting although I did say before that I do feel "calm and peaceful" I've also been feeling really lazy and somewhat lethargic. Part of it could be that I've intentionally not gone out very much so far since starting this and I spend most of my time napping, reading, or watching movies/tv and thus I haven't really felt the hardship and no pain no gain, right? So for those of you who were hesitant about starting because of work, I think you'll benefit more than I do. The discipline will do you good!

7:30 I just did the saline wash for the first time and it was very unpleasant! I haven't been doing them in the mornings I've been taking the lax tea instead. 15 minutes later I was running to the toilet.

Graphic Material: Ok I just vomitted! Lots of clear vomit with dark circles here and there, and I haven't vomitted in years. All my sympathetic sister knew how to say was "ewwwwww dude you got it on the walls, you better clean that up!" It's the saline wash; I don't know if it'll take effect now or how much of it I vomitted, but I did have 1 BM from it and I'm not about to try swallowing that stuff again tonight!

I went out today more than any other day on the cleanse. At the mall I noticed that every store had a distinct smell, I almost vomitted at BCBG because the store smelled faintly of chicken grease. I also realized why I'm bloated, it's probably because I'm expecting my period soon. I'm still feeling weak and cold.

Sometime after midnight: I'm feel sick and dizzy, I don't know if it's related to MC, it could just be that I'm getting sick from the weather. A total of 2 BM's today.

I'm mentally preparing myself for tomorrow because I'll be attending a Henna party (bride's pre-wedding) at a hall that I had my grad. party in and I happened to totally love their food. Today and yesterday I haven't really had any cravings for anything like I did day 2 but I don't know if that'll change when I get confronted with food I love and everyone around me eating the food I love. Plus, if I'm still feeling sick and I vomit again that'll actually give me a pretty good reason to quit in my moment of weakness. So I hope to finish reading the MC book by tomorrow evening to give me a strong conviction that I'm doing what's good for me here!

Day 3

4:00 PM I woke up really late this morning and I didn't have any of the reported stomach aches and I didn't have to go to the bathroom right away which makes me think if I'm doing anything wrong. I did eventually go to the bathroom and had a small bowel movement. Most people report their mucous stage by the end of day 2, I still haven't gotten there. I haven't been doing the saline washes in the morning instead I've been drinking laxative tea, I now bought the smooth moove brand. I regret drinking it though because I have to drive to my parents home which is a good 1 hr drive through nothingness (from new orleans to baton rouge)!

As I mentioned before I decided not to tell my family that I'm doing this. My sister has made the conclusion that I'm on a hunger strike and I just stand my ground that I already ate. My dad called a little while and wanted to know if I already ate today because he wants to take us out. I have a feeling being home is going to be tough! I told him yes I already ate.

I don't feel hungry at all and I've only gone to the bathroom twice (I've had lax tea and 1 glass of the lemonade), so far I haven't had any weird cravings or temptations. I feel lighter and I wake up feeling great. I can't really explain how I feel but I guess you say I feel peaceful and serene, I know that sounds cheesy but that's the best why to describe my mood. However, I'm not having this burst of energy that people are reporting, maybe it's too early for that. In fact I feel a little on the weak side!

5:30 No cravings, No Temptations, and No hunger! So far today is a breeze! I decided not to visit my family today which is really convenient. As far as weight goes, well I don't own a scale but I did notice that my face was thinner and my stomach is flatter.

10:00 I normally am totally fine walking around my apt with a tshirt but today I've been pretty cold, so that's another change brought on by the master cleanse is that I have an increased sensitivity to cold. I'm purposely trying to not go out as much as possible as to make things easier and avoid temptations. The only time I went out today was to go to blockbuster, I got supersize me and I must admit it got me craving the big mac and fries which I'm still thinking about!

Sometime past midnight: I've had about 6 BM today but still no mucous. I've also paid attention to that fact that my lips are dry as hell, probably from the acidity! It seems like most of what I say is negative but there's actually a huge positive aspect that applies to coffe drinkers! I'm a major coffee drinker and it's caused me some problems in the past. Having gone 3 days without coffee I noticed that I sleep much better, I'm actually tired at night so I fall asleep easily and then I wake up just fine! I've been waking up feeling great actually! Also, I've been having pretty vivid dreams which is supposed to be a good thing, dreams are meant to organize your thoughts and thus help you feel more rested. It's time for my sweet dreams!

Day 2

I woke up feeling great!!! Because of my long days I usually have late dinners, alot of times right before I go to bed and as a result I wake up feeling gross and sometimes with a stomach ache. I had non of that this morning!!

I think my laxative tea isn't strong enough, My first bowel movement wasn't until afternoon, I had more hunger pangs today. I'm feeling proud of my self for making it through the second day and I'm feeling lighter but at the same time I feel a little weak. It's normal to feel weak at this time according to some of the other blogs I read.

I'm supposed to either do the saline wash or the laxative tea this morning but I realized I bought the wrong salt for the saline wash and I'm too afraid to drink lax. tea in the morning just in case I need to go somewhere today.

Today was HHAAARRDDDD!!! I have cravings for everything and was tempted about 100 times. I contemplated quitting and starting over another day about 10 times, I kept calculating that I still had over 20 days left for my vacation and it would make more sense to start after my friends wedding and after the holidays (although I don't celebrate us Muslims have a big holiday this Saturday). My parents said they wanted to come tonight and I thought I can't be doing the MC the only thing we ever do when my parents are in town is going out to dinner! They're not interested in movies or bowling or any other social activity. They decided not to come and I feel bad thinking this bad Thank God!!! I'm afraid that if I rescheduled doing this cleanse after the holidays I won't actually do it, the hard part is starting and I've started already, so why would I go through that torture over again! I figured by the time the wedding and the holiday come it'll be like days 7 and 9 and I won't be tempted to quit at that point.

around midnight: I went to the movies with my sister and I didn't even crave the chips or nachos but for some reason I kept thinking about sushi and deli sandwiches. I'm definately feeling lighter but at the same time I do feel weak, I think I just haven't been drinking enough of the lemonade for fear of having to use the bathroom when it's not convenient.

By the way, The Departed is one of the best movies I've seen in a looooong time, I highly recommend it!